“It strikes me as I think of it now — of course, I was a girl, too young then to know much about it — but I think now the mothers on the road had to undergo more trial and suffering than anybody else. The men had a great deal of anxiety…but still, the mothers had the families.” – Martha Morrison Minto
When we delve into the narrative of the Oregon Trail, we are invariably drawn to the pivotal role of women, particularly mothers, within these pioneering families. While the Oregon Trail saw its share of single men venturing westward, unmarried women of childbearing age were a rarity. This demographic reality mirrored the deeply entrenched gender roles prevalent in mid-19th century America. Society largely dictated that men were the primary providers, while women were expected to secure a stable marriage, manage the household, and nurture the family. This societal division was starkly illustrated in frontier life, where men toiled in fields for income, and women cultivated dooryard gardens for sustenance and home remedies. The economic crops were the domain of men, while women controlled the vital kitchen and medicinal gardens, often including ornamentals like dandelions – then welcomed for their early greens and cheerful spring blooms.
Women seeking to challenge these traditional boundaries encountered significant cultural and legal barriers. Voting rights, business dealings, and property ownership were largely male prerogatives. The Donation Land Act of 1850 in Oregon, while progressive for its time in granting half of a family’s land claim to the wife, was an exception rather than the rule. Many women were deliberately excluded from learning essential skills like harnessing horses or driving wagons, activities deemed “unladylike.” This dependence meant they lacked independent mobility for even basic needs like attending church or social gatherings. Consequently, when a husband decided on the arduous journey to Oregon, his wife often had little agency in the matter.
“I am going with him, as there is no other alternative.” – Margaret Hereford Wilson
The notice period for this life-altering migration varied. Some women had mere weeks to prepare, while others had slightly longer. Yet, once a husband resolved to move to Oregon, a wife’s ability to influence or halt the decision was minimal, perhaps only managing to postpone the inevitable departure.
“She begged Father to give up the notion but he could not. … Mother finally reluctantly consented to go. … Lovers, sweethearts, and associates were all left behind. … The saddest parting of all was when my mother took leave of her aged and sorrowing mother, knowing full well that they would never meet again on earth.” – Martha G. Masterson
However, it’s crucial to recognize that not all women opposed the Oregon Trail migration. Some shared their husbands’ adventurous spirit and eagerness for new experiences.
“I was possessed with a spirit of adventure and a desire to see what was new and strange.” – Miriam Thompson Tuller
Despite such exceptions, the dominant sentiment among women was reluctance, if not outright resistance, to abandoning established support networks of family and friends. In an era where railroads were still novel and travel was slow, families were deeply rooted in their communities. Generations lived in close proximity, forming intricate kinship webs and lasting social bonds.
“But if there is ever a time in a woman’s life when she will endure hardships and make sunshine out of shadows it is when she first leaves the home nest to follow the man of her choice. … I determined not to be a stumbling block at the threshold of our new life.” – Carrie Adell Strahorn
While some emigrant groups comprised extended families or neighbors, many women found themselves forming new, temporary communities out of necessity on the trail.
“Mrs. P. is an exceedingly quiet appearing lady, and has an infant only four weeks old. I am determined to like her. … We are much acquainted in five minutes as though we had known each other all our lives. The formalities of the drawing room are here out of place — it is “How do you do?” with a hearty shake of the hand, sans ceremonie.” – Mrs. Benjamin Ferris
Traditional interpretations often portray men as forward-looking, children as excited adventurers, and women as nostalgic, longing for their former homes. While generalizations should be approached cautiously, historical evidence suggests a core truth to this view.
“Well, well, this is not so romantic; thoughts will stray back (in spite of all our attempts to the contrary) to the comfortable homes we left and the question — is this a good move? — but echo answers not a word.” – Lucy Ide
“I would make a brave effort to be cheerful and patient until the camp work was done. Then starting out ahead of the team and my men folks, when I thought I had gone beyond hearing distance, I would throw myself down on the unfriendly desert and give way like a child to sobs and tears, wishing myself back home with my friends and chiding myself for consenting to take this wild goose chase.” – Lavina Porter
Whether rooted in biology or culture, women maintained a stronger connection to domestic routines. These patterns seamlessly transferred to trail life. Women managed camp chores, delegating tasks to older children, mirroring their home life. While some farm chores like soap-making were left behind, cooking, cleaning, laundry, childcare, and other “women’s work” persisted relentlessly. These duties were often performed after grueling days of walking through harsh conditions, compounded by unforeseen daily challenges.
“All our work here requires stooping. Not having tables, chairs, or anything it is very hard on the back.” – Lodisa Frizzel
“…one does like a change and about the only change we have from bread and bacon, is bacon and bread.” – Helen Carpenter
“Had a rather disagreeable time getting supper. Our buffalo chips burn rather poor as they are so wet.” – Cecelia Adams
“I have cooked so much out in the sun and smoke that I hardly know who I am and when I look into the little looking glass I ask, ‘Can this be me?’” – Miriam Davis
Providing sustenance on the Oregon Trail was a monumental task in an era of rudimentary food preparation. Women innovated and shared time-saving techniques. Embers were used for overnight bean cooking, and butter churns were hung from wagons, using the rough terrain to churn butter during travel. Despite limited resources, women found pride in creating small culinary comforts, like birthday cakes or cookies, marking small victories against adversity.
“…wet up some light dough and rolled it out with a bottle and spread the strawberries over it and then rolled it up in a cloth and boiled it, and then with the juice of the strawberries and a little sugar and the last bit of nutmeg I had made quite a cup full of sauce to eat upon the dumplings… the dumplings were light as a cork and made quite a dessert.” – Mary Powers
However, the narrative of women on the Oregon Trail extends beyond domesticity. Circumstances often demanded they transcend traditional roles. Women drove wagons, herded livestock, yoked oxen, and even stood guard.
“…when danger threatened and my services needed, I knew that if I couldn’t shoot straight I could at least sound the alarm. … I put on my husband’s hat and overcoat, then grasping our old flintlock between my shaking hands I went forth into the darkness.” – Margaret Hecox
These instances weren’t celebrated triumphs but rather responses to emergencies. Margaret Hecox’s guard duty stemmed from widespread illness among the men. In normal times, women were fully occupied within their established domestic sphere.
“In respect to women’s work, the days are all the same, except when we stop… then there is washing to be done and light bread to make and all kinds of odd jobs. Some women have very little help about the camp, being obliged to get the wood and water… make camp fires, unpack at night and pack up in the morning — and if they are Missourians they have milking to do if they are fortunate enough to have cows. I am lucky in having a Yankee husband and so am well waited on.” – Helen M. Carpenter
Interestingly, women were often the primary enforcers of societal norms for “proper” womanhood.
“While traveling, mother was particular about Louvina and me wearing sunbonnets and long mitts in order to protect our complexions, hair, and hands. Much of the time I should like to have gone without that long bonnet poking out over my face, but mother pointed out to me some girls who did not wear bonnets and as I did not want to look as they did, I stuck to my bonnet finally growing used to it.” – Adrietta Hixon
“When we started from Iowa I wore a dark woolen dress which served me almost constantly during the whole trip. Never without an apron and a three-cornered kerchief, similar to those worn in those days, I presented a comfortable, neat appearance.” – Catherine Haun
Men, conversely, generally avoided tasks deemed “women’s work,” although the precise boundaries varied between couples.
“When the first Saturday came round, I prepared to do some of my family laundry work. My husband… carried water… filled the washboiler and placed it over the open fire for me. Mrs. Norton was a deeply interested spectator… and remarked rather sadly, ‘The Yankee men are so good to their wives, they help ’em so much.’ After that, I frequently noticed Mr. Norton’s way of ‘helping’ his wife. He would stroll in leisurely, after his work of his lounging was over, look around critically, peer into the water bucket, and would then call out loudly, in a tone that brooked no delay, ‘Mary Jane, I want some water! This bucket’s empty!’ And poor Mary Jane, weary and uncomplaining, would stop her dinner getting or put down her fretful baby and run… to the spring to ‘fetch’ water for her husband. Yet her husband was not unkind to her. It was just his way.” – Esther M. Lockhart
Here, “unkind” likely euphemistically masks spousal abuse, a taboo topic in 19th-century society, often relegated to private family matters and rarely documented in emigrant accounts, except perhaps in moments of religious fervor.
“While I’m writing I have an exciting experience. George is out on guard and in the next wagon behind ours a man and woman are quarreling. She wants to turn back and he wont go so she says she will go and leave him with the children and he will have a good time with that crying baby, then he used some very bad words and said he would put it out of the way. Just then I heard a muffled cry and a heavy thud as tho something was thrown against the wagon box and she said ‘Oh you’ve killed it’ and he swore some more and told her to keep her mouth shut or he would give her more of the same. Just then the word came, change guards. George came in and Mr. Kitridge went out so he and his wife were parted for the night. The baby was not killed. I write this to show how easy we can be deceived.” – Keturah Belknap
The extreme stresses of the Oregon Trail sometimes manifested in disturbing instances of domestic conflict.
“This morning one company moved on except one family. The woman got mad and would not budge, nor let the children go. He had his cattle hitched on for three hours and coaxing her to go, but she would not stir. I told my husband the circumstance, and Adam Polk and Mr. Kimball went and took each one a young one and crammed them in the wagon and her husband drive off and left her sitting. She got up, took the back track and traveled out of sight. Cut across, overtook her husband. Meantime he sent his boy back to camp after a horse that he had left and when she came up to her husband, says, ‘Did you meet John?’ ‘Yes,’ was the reply, ‘and I picked up a stone and knocked out his brains.’ Her husband went back to ascertain the truth, and while he was gone, she set one of his wagon on fire, which was loaded with store goods. The cover burnt off, and some valuable articles. He saw the flames and came running and put it out, and then mustered spunk enough to give her a good flogging.” – Elizabeth Dixon Smith Geer
Despite such extreme anecdotes, women generally demonstrated remarkable resilience, often surpassing men in their ability to endure the journey’s hardships.
“One day I walked fourteen miles and was not very fatigued. The men seemed more tired and hungry than were the women.” – Catherine Haun
Nineteenth-century wives were conditioned to prioritize family well-being above their own, a trait that likely fortified them for the Oregon Trail. Accustomed to being the family’s bedrock in times of adversity, they faced the unknown challenges with a blend of apprehension and fortitude. However, the relentless strain took its toll. Some women, weakened by pre-existing conditions or trail-related illnesses, succumbed to exhaustion and disease.
“Mother soon discovered that she was not strong enough for the duties that now devolved upon her. She decided to get along as she could with the Doctor’s help, and keep one of the boys with the wagon until she got to Fort Hall. She would there exchange her stock for horses, and pack into the station and winter there. But already had she begun to sink under her sorrow and the accumulation of cares… Consumed with fever and afflicted with the sore mouth that was the forerunner of the fatal camp fever, she refused to give up, but fought bravely against the disease and weakness for the sake of her children.” – Catherine Sager
Conscious of the high stakes, women exhibited a heightened awareness of the dangers of the journey compared to their male counterparts. Both men and women might count graves along the trail, but women more frequently voiced reflections on the somber sights.
“On the afternoon we passed a lonely nameless grave on the prairie. It had a headboard. It called up a sad train of thoughts. To my mind it seems so sad to think of being buried and left alone in so wild a country with no one to plant a flower or shed a tear over one’s grave.” – Jane Gould
Haunting dreams and anxieties about trail perils were common for women.
“I have… dreamed of being attacked by wolves and bears. …the heart has a thousand misgivings and the mind is tortured with anxiety and often as I passed the fresh made graves I have glanced at the side boards of the wagon not knowing how soon it might serve as a coffin for some one of us.” – Lodisa Frizzel
Yet, statistically, the Oregon Trail was surprisingly survivable, with approximately nine out of ten emigrants reaching their destination. Most women who embarked on this journey lived to establish new lives in the West, though initial impressions of Oregon were often colored by the harsh arrival season. Emigrants typically arrived in the Willamette Valley in October or November, coinciding with the onset of the region’s gray, rainy winters. Seasonal depression, coupled with the accumulated hardships, likely contributed to a sense of disillusionment. Some might have retreated if logistically possible.
“My most vivid recollection of that first winter in Oregon is of the weeping skies and of Mother and me also weeping. I was homesick for my schoolmates in Chicago and I thought I would die. We knew no one in Portland. We had no use for Portland, nor for Oregon, and were convinced that we never would care for it.” – Marilla Washburn Bailey
However, with time and adaptation, most emigrants, including the pioneer women, grew to appreciate their new home.
“When the snow was three or four feet deep in Wisconsin, I picked wild flowers in Oregon. Everything around me, so far as nature was concerned, was charming to behold.” – Emeline T. Fuller
